Tuesday, November 29, 2011
29.11.11
deardear,been so mani days nvr write to u i tot i reli let go of u, let go of everything..but now im crying while writing this post :(
know wat i reli hate myself for being so weak~!!how i wish i could forget this part memory of u but i juz cant erase it..i ask myself y n i cant find da answer..
reli hv alot to say but duno how to start or whr to begin..no matter wat other guys say to me or how they flirt wif me..u wil alwiz b thr deep inside my heart~
i guess i oni wan to know the truth of y u did wat u did..but i guess i wil nvr know, cos u wil nvr say n u wil b the oni 1 to know x/3
blogged @ 08.58 p.m.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
on 12.11.11
hi deardear,
today is a special day..its nic n jocelyn ROM and im going to see in less than an hour time..duno y instead of xcited, i felt so emo n depressed since ytd..i been wanting to see u so much :( but im nt xcited at all *sigh*
guess wat i tot im better cos i din hv to write blog or letter to u so often nw but actually im not..im juz pretending n trying to b strong which is reli so hard~!! u took my happiness n smile away now im left wif a body w/o soul in it..
saw ur post in fb to move forward n get new memories? hw easy to say but is it tat easy to do? for me it wil b not cos the memories, happiness n pain u given to me wil juz folo me til the day i leave this world i guess..
actually wat i wan is juz an accompaniment of u being by my side n hold hands til old but it seems so far now :( i juz wana say i stil love u x3x3
blogged @ 12.29 p.m.
Monday, November 7, 2011
07.11.11
hi deardear,
it has been more than a week since i moved out fr ur place :( hw time flies..though we met up few times aft i move out but actually thr r alot i wana say to u..i can oni say to u here or in the letter i wrote..
it feels reli weird when i hv so much to say yet i duno whr to start or duno hw to xpress them into words :( but i stil feel hapi to b able to see u though i duno in ur heart wat m i to u now? ytd i was reli hapi when u acc me to go clubbing @ powerhouse n i could sense u taking care of me but when u said u gotta go somewhr ltr i feel reli lost =(
this few weeks of clubbing, i duno wat i reli wan or wat i wana prove..im juz doing crazy n silly things i guess which i tot can make me happier but actually doesnt help cos those r nt wat i wan..so wat if i proved i stil hv mkt value? the man i wan n need no longer be wif me..
when im at home alone, i can only listen to those emo songs n cry in my room..dun dare to let anyone know..but i tink tats when i m most awake..im thankful tat u r stil willing to spend the night wif me ytd cos i reli hate to b alone..
today when i go shopping i see ppl r shopping happily for xmas but i suddenly feel reli hurt cos i got no idea hw im going to spend my xmas alone tis yr folo by new yr n chinese new yr..all this r going to be diff to me :( without u i alwiz feel so lost..but without me is no diff to u i guess :( i reli miss u but nw i can only see our past pics or the pics in my phone n keep u in my mind..
blogged @ 09.08 p.m.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
feeL sad on 02.11.11
hi deardear,
its the 3rd bLog im writing to talk to u here. its the only place whr i can xpress wat i wana tell u now because in fb i had to act 'strong' as wat u wana see. do you know hw tough it is??
today i receive a sms fr u in da afternoon n u mentioned that u were nt feeling well. i reli wish to take halfday off n fly to ur side at tat moment, do you know? but end up i din..i guess both of us especially u stil nid time to sort out our thinkings n nw u r stil lost as to wat u wan. i dun wana bother u n let u feel more irritated.
i was reli unhapi when i know u r nt well. wondering do u know whr the medi r? wil u take the right medi? did u hv enuf rest? drink enuf water? *sigh* my heart feels pain cos i used to b taking care of u whenever u fall sick for the past few yrs..
today i just received 3 dresses i bought online. though now nobody would nag at me if i buy new clothes but duno y im stil nt tat hapi :( i miss u badly n reli wish u r by my side..but the fact is u left me n u dun nid me anymore~
yesterday aft i listen to a song by Hebe - Hai Shi Yao Xing Fu, i reli feel that it expresses wat i wana tell u..i decided to let go n let u find ur own happiness but i hope u wil reli b hapi n i would pray for u too~
all i hope now is for u to be ok..hope u wil alwiz b hapi, safe n healthy tats all so pls take care of urself..i told u i missed u but u ignored, well mayb u dun miss me at all i guess *sigh* wadever it is i juz wana tell u that u wil alwiz b thr in a special place deep down in my heart..I LOVE U~!!
blogged @ 08.23 p.m.
